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Feminism is not a dirty word. (I actually read a book recently with that statement in the title, and I stand by it.) A lot of people shy away from the term “feminist” because they think it means “insane man-hating career/sex obsessed woman (who may or may not be a lesbian.)” Even I’m careful hen using this term, lest my meaning be misconstrued. While such people do exist, they are the extreme end of the spectrum and have no bearing on what I consider feminism. That is, that women should be treated politically, socially, and economically as equals to men.
Fantasy and science fiction are wonderful because you can break so many stereotypes. With a lot of realistic fiction, especially in historical fiction, there are certain limitations, certain expectations and roles that people play that can be difficult to change without losing a sense of authenticity. But science fiction is usually set far into the future, often on other planets. Fantasy deals in alternate realities and fairy tales. The potential to explore and turn traditional gender/racial/economic/sexual roles upside down is all around! And I’m sorry to say that a lot of writers who deal in science fiction and fantasy don’t take advantage of that potential.
Since a lot of fantasy is set in medieval look-alike worlds, we tend to get medieval values. Women are passive objects to be won while men do all the fighting, rescuing, political maneuvering, and pretty much anything else interesting. Science fiction often has male military leaders, male soldiers, male explorers… Women are very often not present at all, or, if they are, they get regulated to sexual roles or are presented in a very wooden or unrealistic manner.
Obviously this isn’t the case for every fantasy or science fiction story. And I should point out that while there is nothing inherently wrong with having characters fill traditional gender roles, that shouldn’t be the only role that they can play. (And that goes for men as well as women.) Older science fiction and fantasy often get a pass from me because the social mores of the time necessarily colors the way the plot and characters are presented. But even in modern stories, I rarely see the envelop pushed.
We can be so much more than this.