Flash Fiction: “Breakers” by K.V.Clements

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day. As someone who has sat suicide watch, who suffers from suicidal ideation when depression gets too bad, and who almost became a suicide statistic, this is very important to me.

In 2019, I participated in Story-A-Day in September, challenging myself to write a piece of flash fiction (a story under 1,000 words long) each day. This story, based on a real incident, was written on September 24, 2019.

“Breakers”

by K. V. Clements

The ground is never as soft as it looks. But that didn’t make it any less inviting. Surely chance to fly, if only for a moment, is worth the cost of hitting the earth.

That’s what I tell myself. But the ape part of me, the one that survived millions of years of evolution, is not convinced. And besides, I’m at my favorite place in the world. Why would I kill myself, here, by my beloved ocean?

I look out. I spared no expense getting the best room for my final view. Dawn is just breaking, the bright gold of the sun glinting on the water. The start of a new, cloudless day. I can hear the roar of the breaking surf. Breaking. Just like me.

The once-comforting sound dulls. I feel the reverberations of the waves pound me into tiny, jagged shards of shell. The tide is endless, remorseless, crushing and grinding, day in and day out. That is all I can look forward to. That is all there is or ever will be.

The ape-self recedes, beaten into submission by the tide. I look back at the ground. These bars, secure enough for a toddler, are no match for my adult self.

I can do it.

I will do it.

I glance out one last time at the sand, the sea, the sun. And my tide stops.

Dolphins. I see them breaking out of the water, their dark, wet backs glistening in the sunlight. A whole pod straddles the divide between ocean and air. They are swimming, but also flying. They possess both fins and wings, sharing the realms of fish and fowl and reveling in both. They do this with an un-self-conscious joy, because they can, because it is what they are meant to do.

With the sun behind them, I can see the spray as they blow out the old, stale air and suck in a fresh breath. I watch them, holding my breath with them, only releasing when they do in a blast of spray.

Out.

In.

Hold.

Out.

In.

Hold.

Out.

In.

I feel my old, stale thoughts fade with each breath I share with my sea-sibs. Like the waves, like me, the dolphins are breaking. But unlike the waves, which break with a grand white foam cacophony, then disappear, the dolphins are breaking into. They become something more, something grand and beautiful, yet so simple, vanishing only for a moment back into their element before returning. Whole.

Shall I be a dolphin or a wave?

I take another breath and step back from the rail.

Thank you for reading!

If you or someone you know needs help,
there are mental health resources available:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Suicide Prevention Lifeline Online:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

SAMHSA Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration:
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

#BeThe1To:
https://www.bethe1to.com/

Mental Health First Aid:
https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/mental-health-resources/

Impact of the Episodic

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Self-contained, episodic storytelling has fallen by the wayside in a lot of cinematic media, particularly for live-action television shows. Now the emphasis is on long-form story-telling suitable for the new era of binge-watching. The technology allowing one to stream episodes on demand rather than planning out your week by the TV guide and waiting for reruns if, heaven forbid, you missed an episode, has changed the nature of the storytelling format. I don’t think that is a bad thing, especially since I love “novels for television.” I do love long-running arcs that explore repercussions of the choices that characters make, sometimes only showing the full effect seasons later.

But I think that sometimes the power of self-contained episodes gets ignored or brushed off as a relic solely related to the technology that distributed it. Just because a show is comprised of self-contained episodes does not necessarily compromise its impact. A collection of short stories linked by the same characters can be just as powerful as a single giant novel. In some cases, it can be even more effective, depending on the kind of stories you want to tell. This is something I’ve really come to understand and appreciate as my friend Fox and I spend our evenings watching Star Trek: The Next Generation through Netflix Parties.

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Ode to October

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October.

Time to read

the stories of Ray Bradbury,

the poetry of Edgar Allan Poe,

and the novels of Daphne du Maurier.

October.

Time to watch anime like

Soul Eater,

Hellsing,

and Black Butler.

October.

Time to see TV shows like

Dark Shadows,

The Addams Family,

and The Twilight Zone.

October.

Time to revisit films like

Young Frankenstein with Gene Wilder,

The Raven with Vincent Price,

and the work of Alfred Hitchcock.

October.

Time to listen to music by

The Rasmus, HiM,

and Nightwish.

October.

Time for sweaters, scarves, and hot soup,

for shadows, smoke,

and morning mist.

October.

Time to curl up under blankets

with cats and cups of hot chocolate

mixed with Baileys Irish Cream.

October.

Time that is in two places at once,

the month that is both eight and ten,

Julian and Gregorian.

October:

Time to celebrate the things that go bump in the night

and try, oh so convincingly, to pretend

we are not afraid of the dark.

The Game Plan

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Now that I’ve recuperated (a little) from the Writer’s Digest Annual Conference, it’s time to figure out what happens next. I’ve talked it over with myself, and I think I’ve (more or less) decided how to proceed:

Do another read-through of Courting the Moon. While I don’t plan on making any ground-breaking changes at this stage, there are a few tweaks I’d like to incorporate, plus a general overview of the manuscript before I send anything out.
Write and send out query letters. Since 4 out of the 5 agents I spoke with said I could query them and 3 of those 4 requested pages, I need to get those letters written and ready to go. My goal is to send them out within the next two weeks.
Continue researching agents and publishers. While it’s great that several of the folk at WDC17 showed interest (thank you!), I can’t rest on my laurels or put all of my eggs in one basket. After all, Courting the Moon might end up not being their cup of tea. (Have I used enough cliched metaphors yet?) So, as always, be sure to have a backup plan!
Prep for my next project. With Courting the Moon out of the way and NaNoWriMo on the horizon, it’s time for me to return to Marina. However, NaNoWriMo is best for writing the first draft (or “Draft Zero” as one of the WDC panelists called it) and Ravens and Roses is past that stage. (I still have scenes to write, but they must be more deliberately crafted.) But I do want to get back into that mode, so I think I’ll go ahead and prep the next book in The Mariner Sequence: Seahawks and Storms. I have only the vaguest outline for it at this point, and with so much fresh territory to uncover in an already-developed world, I think it will be a fun project and a worthwhile expenditure of time and energy. (And it’s gotta be done eventually, so why not now?)
Get back to work on short stories. One of the most valuable panels from WDC17, for me at least, was the one on crafting short stories. I even bought a book there that goes more in-depth with the topic. While short stories are not my forte, I still would like to master writing them, especially since they are still the best way to build writers cred. Plus, I really need the practice.

So, that’s the game plan for the rest of 2017. Guess it’s time to start my attack run. ^_^;;

Writing Is A Full-Time Job (Even If You Don’t Make Money From It)

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hardworking-writer-from-huffington-post-article — (Click image for source)

This might sound like a broken record, but it bears repeating. I still run into or hear about people who don’t seem to get why writing takes so long or how it could be so hard to just fling words onto a page in some coherent order.

Despite my eye-rolling and exasperation, I do understand that, for a non-writer, it’s easy to just assume that books magically appear out of thin air because very few people see the actual process of writing them. Artists of all stripes tend to be self-conscious about unfinished work, so we keep it secreted away until we feel it’s “done” enough to see the light of day. And thus if I tell someone that I’m working two full-time jobs, they tend to look at me funny because writing doesn’t seem to contribute in a concrete, monetary fashion. (At least, not yet.)

It’s difficult trying to balance two jobs, and this lack of understanding about how writing truly is my second job can make the whole enterprise that much harder. For people who don’t have much support from their family or loved ones in regards to their craft, that difficulty increases almost exponentially. So, I wanted to lay out the kinds of things that I’m trying to consider, plan for, and tackle as I try to build a career as a writer in between all the other day-to-day tasks that require my attention:
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The Good (Short Fiction), the Bad (YouTube), and the Ugly (Editing Process)

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As you probably guessed from the title, this entry is a mixed bag of news.

(CAUTION: This entry also contains strong language!)
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THE GOOD:

I’ve been derping around with the Submission Grinder, a wonderful tool created by Diabolical Plots to help writers weed through the mountain of online magazines without having to check every single one on the net personally. Just fill in some parameters for the story you are trying to sell and BOOM! There’s a good chance something will come up that will be useful to you. I’m still playing round robin with my pair of short stories, and while I know I should be writing more, nothing has really come to mind. However, I stumbled across a book called The Rose Metal Press Field Guide to Writing Flash Fiction. I’d seen the term pop up before, but hadn’t really looked into it. (It’s possible that “flash fiction” sounded too much like “slash fic” for me.) Apparently, flash fiction is a term for “short short stories.” Although the lengths vary from publication to publication, flash fiction is usually less than 2,000 words. So, I decided to try my hand at it, since there is apparently a huge market for it. It’ll be an interesting challenge, but I actually already wrote down a rough draft for an idea and will work on refining it. Wish me luck!
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2015: The Year in Review

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Okay, seriously, who keeps making off with all this time? Feels like the year just got started and we’re already on the cusp of 2016! (And from what I’ve heard, this sense of time distortion only gets worse… ugh.)

I am definitely in a better place at the end of 2015 than I was last year. Many of my 2014 goals have been reached, and it feels like I’ve got a better handle on life in general, which is a massive relief! I want to give a huge thank-you to all of my friends, readers, subscribers, and followers. You make this all worth-while.

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Milestones & Updates

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Hello, world! It seems like writers spend a lot of time soul-searching in Angst-ville (myself included) so I wanted to share some good news!

1) ARTICLES!

I got some articles published! Fellow writer Mark Squirek is a columnist for the online newsletter Scoop. He asked me to do a pair of articles for his column, “Cover Story,” which discusses the cover art of various comic books. I got to pick any two covers I wanted and write about them! I chose Space Family Robinson #23: “Menace from Uranus!” from 1967 and The Chronicles of Arcea #1: “The Athame” by Vyrhelle. Many thanks to Mark for asking me to write for Scoop and to Mr. J.C. Vaughn, editor at Gemstone Publishing, for taking a chance on a new writer. Also, my deepest gratitude to my friend Karen; editing all of those art papers paid off! Working with Scoop has been a lot of fun, and I hope I’ll be able to continue writing for them.

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