It’s been an interesting year. November and the beginning of December 2011 have been particularly rough months. I’ve undergone a lot of changes, some for better, some for worse, and some…I don’t even know yet. Maybe those I’ll figure out a little farther down the line.
These past few weeks I’ve been suffering from depression and some serious mental lapses. (As in, “I forgot to go clean that house today” kinds of mental lapses. Which is bad when half of my income is from cleaning.) And while I don’t think I’m clinically depressed, I haven’t been very chipper either. I feel like…I’ve lost my place in the world…or found out that I never actually had a place to begin with. I haven’t felt like a writer, a reader, or an otaku…just a failure. Yeah, it’s all very strange and muddled and I’m hoping that some of the bright spots that have happened within the past few days will pull me out of this grey tide back into a place where I’m content, even if I’m not happy per se.
I do think that, on this, the eve of the Winter Solstice, I have reached one of those turning points, thanks to my friend and fellow writer, Foxglove Zayuri.