Modern Mythology

In case anyone missed the Twitter memo (and I’m sure some of you did), I will not longer be posting an entry here on The Cat’s Cradle every week. Life has just gotten too insane for me to keep up that kind of pace. At least, not and maintain some quality control. So, from now on, I’ll be posting every other week, roughly 2 entries per month. I hope that you’ll all stick around and continue to enjoy them!

With things in my own life fluctuating madly, I thought it rather relevant to say that we live in an increasingly uncertain world. As Don Henley says, “The more I know, the less I understand.” Nihilism and existentialism isn’t new, but I personally feel it encroaching further and further into the human psyche.

What do we have to believe in?

If you watch the news, not much. Every day there appears to be more death, destruction, and wanton waste of life. Corruption and exploitation run rampant. Ignorance and idiocy walk hand in hand as common sense becomes more precious than gold or diamonds. The honest and the honorable are pushed to the sidelines, trampled on, or ridiculed. And in an increasingly secular world, faith doesn’t seem to have a place anymore.

So, what can we believe in? Who can be role models? What can inspire us to become more than we are, better than we are? Or to at least help us make some kind of sense of this insane world of ours?

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Distractions

I recently read a book called iDisorder, which was recommended to me by my onii-san, David Greenshell. It’s about how the pervasive technology around us has encouraged the widespread development of behaviors that have the same symptoms as mental disorders, such as OCD, ADHD, addiction, narcissism, depression, and schizophrenia. I highly recommend it because so many behaviors that seem “normal” now in relation to technology maybe shouldn’t be granted an exemption from concern.

Before I go any father, let me just say that I am not a naysayer to technology. I have this blog, don’t I? I also have numerous accounts all over the web, I own a cell phone (not a SmartPhone, thank God), and I probably spend more time than I should on Facebook and Twitter. I suppose I am a little different from the majority of my generation because I do not have internet access at home, nor do I own a laptop, tablet, e-reader, or any other device that would allow me ubiquitous access to the world wide web. Sometimes this is frustrating, even inhibiting. It’s hard to look for, or even consider pursuing, an online job without a constant internet connection, and my friends can tell you just how furious I was to hear that Diablo 3 didn’t have an off-line option like its predecessors.

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Literature — Larger Than Life

I have been reading, which is always a dangerous thing.

No, really, reading is dangerous. It challenges the twin conditions of Status Quo and Ignorance. Which is probably why is has been encouraged to decline. I do not know what the current literacy rates are, but I see what people check out in libraries, what students come slouching sullenly to the desk to request, hear the verbal banalities pour, not just from the mouths of other babes, but my own, and it makes me weep.

In case you have not noticed, I’ve been reading classic literature and essays by Ray Bradbury. Both put me in a maudlin kind of mood where I hover between ecstasy and madness. Because when I read them, if I’m lucky, I get the sensation that there are great truths hidden within them, sentences and paragraphs that resonate with me, but I have no means of expressing them. The sheer abundance of creativity makes me want to simultaneously shout my joy to the heavens and slink back home and tear up the pages of my manuscripts that aren’t nearly as beautiful or insightful. (So far I rarely express the former in public and I’ve resisted the urge to perform the latter.)

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Losing Faith

How do you restore faith once it’s been lost?

I don’t know about you, but I’m a writer who is full of self-doubt that only gets worse the older I get. Rather cynical for a girl of 24, but there it is.

I’ve known for almost two decades that I was going to be a writer. I’ve always known that I would have to be in a creative or artistic field; my brain isn’t suited for business or anything that deals with a lot of people. (Oddly enough, I can handle being a librarian, mostly because I love books so much. But that’s about the only “normal” job I can hold and not go crazy or totally mess up.) Writing is really my only talent. I know this. And yet, I still have doubts about becoming a successful writer.

When I was younger, I really didn’t have plan about how I was going to become a published author…but I didn’t feel I needed one. I knew what I could do, what I wanted to do, and all I had to do was do it. I didn’t have any doubts about my eventual success. And yet, now I believe that it’s highly unlikely that I will ever achieve publication of any kind. I don’t even know if I’m capable of finishing anything anymore. For at least six months, that thought has paralyzed me. My depression was in full swing and only getting worse. I’d managed to stem the tide with anime, but that wasn’t enough anymore. I was losing my writing, my faith in writing, and I didn’t know how to stop it.

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Prolific Penmasters

It’s ironic that the three writers I look up to the most are also some of the most prolific. Mercedes Lackey has dozens upon dozens of novels. Many are collaborations, but many are not, and even collaborating takes a great deal of time and effort. Oddly enough, she started off as a writer of fanfiction and was a protegée of Marion Zimmer Bradley, one of the mistresses of sci-fi and fantasy. J. Michael Straczynski writes for 10 hours a day, every day, except on his birthday, Christmas, and New Year’s. He says, “If I don’t have an assignment, I’ll write a short story, I’ll write a spec script, I’ll write a novel. I just enjoy the hell out of it.” Out of the 110 episodes comprising Babylon 5, he wrote the scripts for 92 of them, plus all of the movies. Joss Whedon has created several cult classic television shows with some of the most unique and memorable mythologies and characters. He worked on Buffy, Angel, and Firefly as writer and director during the 2002-2003 television season, and said that he only feels his best when he’s writing:

“You know, I always get cranky when I’m not writing,” Joss admits. “I’ll be mad and I don’t know why. I just feel like I’m angry with everybody and I hate everything and life is a sham. Then I’ll realize I haven’t written anything. And rewriting doesn’t count. It has to be an original script” (Havens, 158).

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Mystery Box

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Yeah, sorry guys, I’ve got nothing this week. My brain is not in a cooperative writing mood. I was toying with the idea of writing an entry about the wonders of the Mystery genre since I have been watching and reading a lot of detective stories lately. I’m into the fourth season of Castle and I just started Sherlock, a BBC adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s super sleuth that brings Sherlock and Watson into the present day. I’ll admit, I was rather leery of this “modernization” because it usually fails terribly. But somehow…this works. It’s a modern Sherlock Holmes that doesn’t lose the quirky awesomeness of the original, even adapting the original stories such as A Study in Scarlet in a modern fashion. And it works. I’m not sure how, but the level of detail and planning it must have taken is astounding. Benedict Cumberbatch is a wonderful Sherlock Holmes and I really like Martin Freeman as John Watson. The dynamics and chemistry between those two are amazing.

So. Yeah. Mystery. It’s good. Hard genre to pull off well. Go watch Sherlock. And Castle. Lots of Castle. And Nathan Fillion. Yum.

A Body In Motion

I’m sure that many of you have picked up at least one book about how to be a writer. Or perhaps you’ve read books or blogs that focus on the tricks of the trade employed by your favorite writer. Maybe you haven’t. But if you have, and looked at several, there are two suggestions or “tricks” that almost every author recommends:

1) Write every day.

2) Exercise.

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Follow the Leader

Sorry for the very short entry; due to a lot of personal upheaval, I haven’t been feeling the desire to write at all, not even rambling essays such as this. I hope you’ll forgive the sparse, unimaginative prose that is likely to grace my entries until further notice.

I know it’s probably a little premature to be thinking about fans of your writing, especially if, like me, you haven’t actually finished anything yet. However, fans are part of the hypothetical audience you are writing for, people like you who are interested in the kinds of stories you tell. But on another writing blog, I ran across the question, “Would you like to be a bestseller or have a smaller, more manageable following?”

It’s not as straightforward as it looks.

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Pictures and Apologies

Sorry everyone, but there will not be a more substantial entry this week. I was at Katsucon 2012 over the weekend, so I’m still really exhausted and trying to readjust to real life. The con was great, although it was more stressful than anticipated and not very vacation-like. Still, awesome panels and I debuted two new costumes: Botan from Yu Yu Hakusho and Dark Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

If you are interested in reading about my con adventures, please check back on this entry in a few days or so. I should have a link up at that point. Until then, enjoy these pictures!

Botan from "Yu Yu Hakusho" — Botan from “Yu Yu Hakusho”

My brother cosplaying Himura Kenshin from "Rurouni Kenshin" — My brother cosplaying Himura Kenshin from “Rurouni Kenshin”

Dark Willow from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" — Dark Willow from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”

Turning Wheels and Changing Tides

“Most writers are in a state of gloom a good deal of the time; they need perpetual reassurance.”
— John Hall Wheelock

It’s been an interesting year. November and the beginning of December 2011 have been particularly rough months. I’ve undergone a lot of changes, some for better, some for worse, and some…I don’t even know yet. Maybe those I’ll figure out a little farther down the line.

These past few weeks I’ve been suffering from depression and some serious mental lapses. (As in, “I forgot to go clean that house today” kinds of mental lapses. Which is bad when half of my income is from cleaning.) And while I don’t think I’m clinically depressed, I haven’t been very chipper either. I feel like…I’ve lost my place in the world…or found out that I never actually had a place to begin with. I haven’t felt like a writer, a reader, or an otaku…just a failure. Yeah, it’s all very strange and muddled and I’m hoping that some of the bright spots that have happened within the past few days will pull me out of this grey tide back into a place where I’m content, even if I’m not happy per se.

I do think that, on this, the eve of the Winter Solstice, I have reached one of those turning points, thanks to my friend and fellow writer, Foxglove Zayuri.

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